Monday, June 1, 2009

Drunk Anger Management

I don't know about you, but I LOVE a man who turns into an angry drunk. I mean, c'mon. We've all been there - done that. But when you're in the middle of an argument that is no where near rational conversation, don't you just wish there was a "Calgon Take Me Away" button?

Now I'll admit, at certain times of the month I totally start the most idiotic arguments. Something like this:

Me: Hey, where's my tea?

Him: What?

Me: My tea. Where is it?

Him: I don't know...

Me: You JUST saw me carrying around a tea, and I had to have put it down somewhere around here.

Him: Really, I don't know.

Me: Why don't you know? I mean, do you ever pay attention to what I do? You NEVER pay attention to me do you? DO YOU?!?!?

Him: Uhhh, what?

Me: Nothing! Just forget it. I'll find my own damn tea.

Okay so maybe drunk angry man is somewhat similar to raging hormonal PMS girl. But you know what? At least I HAVE A REASON, you drunk ass.

Men who turn into drunk assholes should know that it never ends well. Inevitably you will sober up and realize what an idiot you were.

First you have to apologize. Then you have to admit you were wrong. Then you have to ask for forgiveness. Then you have to earn back her "nice side" over the next four to eight days (we hold grudges). Then every time you get into a real argument over the next month or two, she'll bring up whatever shitty comment you made when you were drunk.

Trust me, dude. It's just not worth it. Next time, pass on the round of shots. Yes, even if they're free.

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